Moments
by smasher2k
Summary: A serious of moments in Sydney's life.
1. Chapter 1

**Moments**

A/N: I do not in any way own Alias. But borrow the Characters and stories to bring it into my world.

Prologue 

I'm not sure who said It or maybe if I read it. But someone once said to me, that life was just a serious of moments.

But Know I realised something. All my moments seem to involve one person.

My mother.

Chapter 1 – My mother, the college professor

_My first week in college. A week of first's for me. My first class. The first time I meet Francie. The first time I was truly by my self without my father. And the first time a professor mentioned my Mother._

_Then I didn't know much about her. Bits and pieces from my memories and small amount's from the story's I have overheard. My father never talked about her much. I never truly understood why until later._

I stepped to the front of the class. Trying to get all my strength together to talk to the professor. He was a famous man in Literature. And with my planning to follow that career path I need all the help I could get.

"Excuze me, Professor Mizzy. I thought I'll introduce my self. I'm Sydney Bristow"

"Bristow? He said thinking out loud. "Oh my, Your mother isn't Laura Bristow by any chance?"

"Yes she was" Sydney replied. Amazed that someone like him could know her mother.

"I knew her quite well. She was a well respected and liked member of the facility. She was so talented and it was a great losss when she died. Actually thinking back I think I actually meet you and your father once when she was with you."

"When was that?"

"You must of being about 3 at the time. There was a faculty reception. The type where you bring your families along. So you and your father came. I remember how happy she seemed when you were around. And how much you parents seemed to be in love."

_This was once a special moment in my life. Maybe it still is. But that was compeltly different life. Things were easy then. Not long after that my life changed for good._

_That's when things got harder._


	2. Chapter 2 Mistaken Identity

**Chapter 2 – Mistaken Identity**

_During my first year with SD-6 I was sent to Russia. A mission to infiltrate K-_

_Directorate._

_I was still pretty much of a rookie but they consider me the best bet for the job. My ability with Russian being one of the reason spoken about. _

_I learnt many valuable lessons while I was there and meet one person their who has haunted me for ever since. Goading me about it every time we meet._

_But that were was one moment during that mission. A moment that seemed insignificant until much later. When the truth came out._

_A man one of the ever present bad guy. Made then what I thought was a throwaway comment about a woman. An ex major in the KGB that he had known._

_He said that I had reminded him of her. I thought he meant her personality, a trait in character that we both shared._

_But it wasn't that it was completely different._

_I reminded him of that woman. Because that woman was my mother._

"How did a rabble rouser like you end up working in a corporate environment like K-Directorate? That would strike me as the last place you'd want to be?"

"A woman recruited me," he answered. "She was a major in the KGB."

"I didn't know women were allowed to reach that rank."

"They're not. She was an exception. She was …magnificent."

"What was so amazing about her?"

"She was one of the founding members o K-Directorate when we decided to go underground. Or rather, officially underground. She had bigger goals than any other members of the Duma. She wanted to unite all five Mafia organizations. Bring them under one roof. She could of done it to. She had the force of personality. She had the vision. But she got distracted."

"An obsession," he told her. "Over some philosopher's natiquites. She was conviced if she could out together all the pieces of some treasure hunt, she would…" He waved it away, as if too disappointed to go in. Instead her turned and looked her. "You know, you kind of reminded me of her."

"That's Sweet." Sydney replied. "I think"

_I must or replayed that a hundred times in my head. A mention of my mother when I still thought she was Laura Bristow and she had died when she was six. And also the first mention of Rambaldi. The guy who was know a ban of her existence._

_But this was not the only time that people had inclinations about it. During the rest of them intervening years before it came out it happened a couple of times. They didn't come out straight and say it. But Sydney saw it in their eyes._

_Them looking at her and trying to place her face. Trying to figure out who she reminded them of._

_But that was nothing. What was to come years down the line. That would change everything for good._

A:N: Just a legal note here. Has to be done. Don't want to get sued. The section above about the mention of Irina is not mine. But talking for Infiltration by Breen Frazier one of the Alias prequel novels. That bit was perfect for what I'm trying to do with this. So they're you go.

R:N: So second chapter in. What do you think? Come on read and review. Them reviews make me so happy!


	3. Chapter 3 Spying on the Spies

**Chapter 3 – Spying on the Spies**

_I knew the name Irina Derevko from quite early on in my time in SD-6. Just the name. Had seen no pictures. Knew nothing of her crimes. Just overheard it from some agent discussing her. Someone who was investigating long term deep cover operatives. Someone who was investigating my family._

Sydney was walking to the coffee room. Desperate for a caffeine fix. This summer had been killer. She was on vacation from college and Sloane was making the most of it. She was just about to head around the corner when she overheard two of her colleagues talking.

"So what's Sloane got you working on?" One of them said

Sloane was an enigma to Sydney. His moods always interchanging. Sometimes so professional and sometimes so caring. Almost in a fatherly way. So instead of carrying on, she stuck around hoping to find something about him.

"He's got me looking into long term undercover operatives. This one woman in particular. Irina Derevko an old KGB agent."

"What's so special about her?"

"She's absolutely amazing. She was an swallow agent during the 1970's. She successful kept her cover for over ten years. That's unheard off."

"Why's Sloane interested in her?" Is she becoming a threat again?"

"No, she's been dead for over ten years. But that's not the strangest part of it. You know the new agent well……" The guy said before coming around the corner.

Sydney was startled as the came around and quickly decided to bend down and pretend to tie her shoe. She looked up and gave them a big smile.

She stood up and took a quick look over her shoulder. To see them both with a look of shock on their faces. Staring intensely at her.

_For yeas I didn't know why they were staring at me. But now I know, people in Sd-6 knew about me. My secret family history. Nobody told me anything or even hinted it. What did Sloane do to keep them. Did he threaten them with the conversation room or threaten their familes._

_All I know is two seconds longer and I would of found out the truth earlier than I did. Instead of just the name Irina Derevko to be filed into my brain just to be recalled later to hurt._

R:N: So what do you think? Read and Review and then tell me.


	4. Chapter 4 Mommy Dearest

**Chapter 4 – Mommy Dearest**

_It was those damn books that started it all of. For years they sat unsuspecting on my shelves. A litlle piece of who I thought my mother was._

_If only I had not had that paper to redo._

_If only Francie hadn't of spilled that Lemonade. _

_If only I hadn't been reading by candle light._

_If only my mother._

_If only anything._

_But these thing I can't change. _

_The one thing I wish I could. The way I found out._

"Those Cyrillic codes you found in those books?"

"Yes, they were orders from the KGB, and yes they were orders to kill. An agent received those orders and carried them out. Murdered officers of the C.I.A. Including your father, Mr Vaughn. All this is true."

"_But, Sydney, I was not that Agent._

"_Your mother was"_

_It's amazing how 3 words change your life,_

_Bring things crashing down around you. _

_That moment is forever seared into my brain. The shock, the confusion. The hatred of my mother filling me for the first time. The hatred of my father back again._

_They though that I had been lied to for all my life. That the agency knew more about my past than me. That people in SD-6 knew._

_Those words affected all of different._

_Vaughn finding out about his father's killer after years of wondering. Just to find out the horror that there is a connection to me._

_And me?_

_Those words made me think only one thing._

_Was I supposed to be born?_


	5. Chapter 5 Living with the awful truth

**Chapter 5 – Living with the awful truth**

_After the truth came out. I didn't seem to be able to find a time to rest. Things happened one after the other. Cole, Page 47 and the resulting prophecy from there._

_To find out your part of some ancient philosophers plan. A prophecy stating that you would be the one to bring the world into utter desolation That you were tied to this man, the man whose items you were chasing around the globe._

_The likeness of the picture to me, the DNA sequencing, my heart size all suggesting that I was that woman. The only other person that it could be. Was my mother. Who I had developed them traits from. Who everyone says I look like._

_Because of her death it fell on my shoulders._

_She was gone, or so we all thought._

"Dad, I just drove a car into the ocean. I knew the police were waiting for me. I used the air from the tyres."

"I was breathing under water for ten minutes before I started to swim. And as that car started to fill with water, I knew what my mother had done in the same situation. Dad she could of planned it."

"Sydney…"

"It makes sense. She was deceitful. She was cruel. Ruthless."

"And in Rambaldi's prophecy he uses details, like that DNA sequencing. Dad I inherited that. I mean it's either Mom or me."

"I know it's not me."

"Mom's alive. I know it."

_To think. I ended up in the same situation as my mother did twenty years earlier._

_Pursued by the government and the only way to try and get away is to drive in the ocean. To breathe the air from the tyres the same way she did._

_That moment turned me around. Especially when I found out that she was truly alive. That she was out there in there in the world. But never both to acknowledge her or even care._

_But if she didn't want to see me. I was going to see her. Just to found why she did. That was the only thing at that time driving me. Not the destruction of SD-6, but been able to use it, use Sloane to find her. Something which the C.I.A were not really bothering to do. _

_But soon enough I had to face telling someone the truth. Someone I cared deeply for. That I was Irina Derevko's daughter._


	6. Chapter 6 Facing

**Chapter 6 – Facing**

_Dixon. One of the few people I could trust wih._

_But for the longest time I seemed just to lie to him. About SD-6, About me, About my father and then About my mother._

_My mother. Then it was something I couldn't face sharing at all. I had trouble even putting it into words._

_Let alone telling it to the man that had been my rock through so much._

_I knew I could share anything with him. But this I couldn't._

_Until._

_Until it was taken out of my hands. By Sloane_

"Sydney, analysis is almost done with the files you got form Khasinua's facility. And should have the report on your mother. Sorry Derevko by the end. As a courtesy I'm sending a copy to you. As for the matter at hand, wheels up in 15 hours. Dixon and Sydney get you op tech from Marshall "

Sydney stood up and quickly walked out of the conference room. Trying to get some distance between her and Dixon, hoping that he had a momentarily lapse in concentration at the moment.

"Sydney?" Dixon said from behind her. "Sydney, stop. I need to talk to you."

"Yes?" Sydney said turning round to face him with a fake smile on her face.

"Syd, I'm not sure if I misheard in their. But I swear that Sloane in a kind of way that Derevko is your mother. I though your mother was Laura Bristow."

"That's who I thought she was. Dixon I didn't found out about this until recently. But there is something you need to know. Yes, my mother was not who we thought she was. Firstly, she was KGB sent to spy on the C.I.A through my father. And secondly, yes what you heard was correct. My Mother is Irina Derevko. And one more thing. I'm trying to find her."

"But isn't she dead? If you thought she was Laura. And Laura died. Doesn't that mean Irina died too?"

"No. That's another thing I found out. She's alive. That's why I've thrown myself into the Khasinua thing. He was my mother's superior at the KGB. So I find him, I'll find her.

"Syd, why didn't you tell me any of this sooner?"

"It's hard. I'm having trouble accepting it for myself. Let along letting other know about it."

"Look, I may be your partner but I am also a friend. You can tell me anything."

_It wasn't as hard as I thought. _

_Admitting it was a huge relief_

_At least one person at SD-6 I really trusted knew._

_But it was not to last. Not so long after that. It all came out in SD-6 and the C.I.A._

_But firstly there was a reunion to get though. _


	7. Chapter 7 Cuffed Feelings

**Chapter 7 – Feelings Cuffed**

_I had planned that moment in my head ever since I found out about my mother._

_What I would say and do when I saw her. _

_But reality is always different to fiction._

_When I found myself back in that room. Handcuffed to that same chair._

_Seeing that man I thought would answer my questions turning out to be all so insignificant. A Man in front of The Man._

_The man being the one person I wanted to see the most._

_Instead of saying what I planned._

_I said the one word that had meant so much to me._

"I've waited almost thirty years for this"

"Mom"

"You must have known this day would come. I could have prevented all this, of course. You were so small when you were born. It would have been so easy"

Sydney looked across and noticed the gun resting against her mother's thigh.

"Tell me... Sydney... who sent you here? You must tell me"

"Or What? I'm grounded?"

Irina raised the gun up and pulled the trigger, the bullet from it slamming into Sydney's shoulder, sending her to floor still attached to the chair.

"Tell you what -- think about it. I'll come back and ask you again" Irina said before turning around and leaving the room

_Maybe antagonizing her wasn't the best solution._

_But being handcuffed to a chair, with the woman you've haven't seen since six years old standing in front of you does strange things._

_I detested her for what she had done. To my friends in SD-6, to Vaughn and to me and my father._

_So I pushed her, being under the impression that even her wouldn't shot her own daughter. But she did._

_But still the only thing I wanted her to do, she didn't._

_I wanted her to hold me like she did when I was a child._


	8. Chapter 8 Glass

**Chapter 8 – Glass**

If _I didn't know better, I'd would think my mother had an ironic sense of humour. _

_Or again it could be one big coincidence._

_She came back according to herself to be my mother. On the day I buried the one person I considered to be a surrogate mother to me. Emily Sloane. The woman who I considered to be a close friend of mine but also to my mother._

_That day was so full of conflicting emotions. Love and hate. Gain and Loss. _

_All different emotions all at once._

_But all that meant nothing when I had to see mother again._

_I would of preferred it to have been of my own doing instead of it being forced on me by Kendall. _

_But at least me and Mom were finally on a level playing field. _

_But this doesn't stop her being a terrifying presence to be in front of._

_I have heard stories from other agents, contacts I have who have meet her about how much she scares them but at least that don't have her scolding them like they were still 5 years old._

_But at least I got a kind of retaliation for that._

"_Let's get something clear. You are not my mother. My mother was Laura Bristow. Laura Bristow died in a car accident twenty-one years ago. You are a traitor and a prisoner of the United States government"_

Irina turned away a look of smugness on her face.

"Look at me! We will interact only when necessary. You will address me as "Agent Bristow" and answer only the questions I ask. There will be no personal anecdotes, no comments about my job performance, no condolences or congratulations. Do you understand me?"

Irina's face stayed emotionless as usual.

"Do you understand" Sydney said trying to see if her point had got across.

"Yes... Agent Bristow."

Sydney happy with the answer she had received turned and left, she had just gone away when a smile played over Irina's face.

_At first I thought I had hurt her feelings, that maybe I had took it a bit to far. But that was until I saw the tape of that conversation and saw her smile after I had left. _

_That made me make the decision that I would never be able to understand who she is exactly. She was happy that I had told her off._

_But that whole situation didn't last long._

_It was so simple to slip in to calling her Mom instead of Derevko and to let her call me Sydney. It just seems natural to do so. _

_But then I still thought she was the only bad guy in my life that was until I found out about my father._

_And what my mother knew about it herself._


	9. Chapter 9 Christmas

**Moments 9 – Christmas**

_Project Christmas._

_The whole project seemed absurd when I found out about it. _

_A project used to train children to be agents for their government. _

_Even after seeing it with my own two eyes it was still laughable._

_That was until I found out the project had been used on me._

_So I talked to the only other person apart from my father who knows something about this crazy project._

Sydney walked down the corridor to the glass cage which held her mother

The bars clanking and retracting as she made her way down to there.

She turned and faced the cell, to see her mother sitting on her bed reading the one book that they would let her have. The bible.

Irina looked up when she sensed Sydney's presence and a small smile appeared on her face.

"Sydney, thank you for getting me that reprieve on my execution. It means a lot that you've finally started to trust me."

"It wasn't really me. It was Agent Vaughn who worked out what was going on. That Dad set you up in Madagascar. This is not what I've come to discuss. All I want to know about it project Christmas.

"Yes. What do you want to know about it?"

"I don't want to know about it in specific terms. All I want to know is if you know if Dad had used it on me."

"Sydney, I had my suspicions that he might of. That's why I asked you those questions to try and figure out if it was true. But after talking about that thanksgiving with you and finding out that you couldn't remember it.. I knew what part you had before I went. But if you couldn't remember then I know he had used it on. And it was confirmed. He had."

"All he says about it, is that he did it for a reason. To make sure I was not a victim. But all I can see is that he did it to make me a spy."

"Sweetheart, do not doubt you father. If he says it was to protect you, it was to protect you, it was to protect you. He gave you the skills for you to look after yourself. Unfortunately, yes these skills can be translated to the spy world. But ultimately Sydney you decided to become a spy, not because of the training but because you wanted to. That's what free will is about."

_This is one of the few times I believe my mother was right._

_That I couldn't blame Dad for me being a spy._

_I said yes not him._

_I'll still never agree with what he did. Using that project. But I've learnt to live with it. It's part of me._

_But who knows, I could of being a spy without the training._

_Because don't children develop traits from their parents?_

_R:N: Well here's chapter 9. Just a quick note to say that I'm not sure when the next update will be, moving at the weekend so will try and make it soon as possible_

_Anyway please review while you here._


	10. Chapter 10 Story

**Chapter 10 – Story**

_When my mother turned herself in I never thought I would ever with her_

_It was something else to be working with both of my parents._

_**Kashmir.**_

_That placed open my eyes on many things._

_Vaughn's feelings about me. Some of what my mother had been through,_

_And a story which told me something about my parents were like._

"I know what you're thinking." Jack said

"Do you?" Irina says smiling back at him

"The toaster."

Irina lets out a laugh, one of pure happiness but Sydney sits there with a bemused impression on her face.

"What are you guys talking about!" Sydney asks.

"Ah.." Irina takes another drink and then passes the bottle back to Jack a smile on her f ace mirrored on his as well,

"We used to have this toaster at home. It was broken and using it one night, I started a small fire. " Jack started to say

"We had something like this to drink and we both had a little too much." Irina said jumping in.

"I forgot about the toast I was making." Jack said with such a manner it made Irina laugh.

"When was this?" Sydney asked once again trying

"You were... four years old" Irina said uncertainty but Jack nodded conforming it.

"There was so much smoke, we had to move out for a week. We stayed in that hotel."

"The Summit" Said Jack quietly.

"The Summit." Irina said remembering

" W-wait was that the hotel with the sundaes?" Sydney said remembering that one small detail"

" Mm-hmm." Irina murmured to her.

"Yeah. I think you had one every night." Jack said smiling at Sydney

_Who would of thought._

_A story about a toaster could bring us together for a short time._

_For a split second I saw a different side of my parents._

_One where they were once happy, in love._

_A time I can't remember for myself._

_But it also showed me a more human side of my mother._

_The side I had as a child._

_Not the cold hearted bitch she makes herself out to be._

_Is the way she with everyone else an act, a mask she wears?_

_All I know is then I was so happy to have her around._


	11. Chapter 11 Hug

**Chapter 11- Hug**

_To be held in my mother's arms, was something I never forgot from being a child._

_To feel so safe and so loved at the same time._

_But how can the first time that we hugged in over twenty years feel the same as it did when I was a child._

_Mentally and physically I knew it shouldn't. _

_This woman shouldn't make me feel that way. _

_That me been a grown woman she can still make me feel like a small child._

_Safe and Secure. _

_That's the thing with emotions. _

_They're not rational._

Irina paces around the rooftop. The marshals watching her intently. But Irina didn't care she was just glad to be outside. She turns and spot's Sydney. A smile appears on her face and then she speaks.

"Kendall's allowed me fifteen minutes here, twice a week. You put in the request, didn't you, to give me time out here?"

"Yeah. We appreciated your help in Kashmir." Sydney says the smile reciprocated slightly on her own face.

" I need you to understand... I was eighteen when the KGB recruited me. For a woman to be asked to serve her country, it was a future, it meant... empowerment, independence. I was a fool to think that any ideology could come before my daughter." Irina seized the moment. Knowing this could be one of the few times she could have to explain herself.

The tears started to come from both of them. Not much but enough. Enough to make Sydney uncomfortable. Wanting to get away, so turned and started to leave.

" Sydney?" Irina asks

Sydney stopped after her mother said that. And turns back to face her. Before she knew what was happening. She was pulled into a tight embrace. The years falling away. Their memories going back, remembering every detail from the last time they had done that,

The spell unexpectedly broken.

The Marshals telling them to separate. So they did reluctantly. Tears streaming down both their faces.

_For a split second. All I wanted to do was freeze that moment._

_That was until the marshall stepped in._

_Stopping an innocent mother/daughter hug. _

_Something that nobody was sympathetic about. _

_Not Kendall, not my father and not even Vaughn._

_All I got was._

"_Sydney, remember who she is, what's she's done who she is."_

_But if I'm not sure about who my mother was then._

_Why are they?_


	12. Chapter 12 Embarrassment

**Chapter 12 – Embarrassment**

_It's not easy being an international terrorist's child._

_But try being a terrorist's child when you're a C.I.A agent._

_And especially when the terrorist who is your parent. _

_Is Irina Derevko._

_For the majority of the time my mother was in custody. I managed to contain the information about the connection between us._

_Only a select few knew._

_Her guards, Weiss, Vaughn. Vicki Crane, the first person to interrogate her. Barnett and a few miscellaneous people who had attended one of the many briefings where she was._

_The only other people who know were my father and Kendall._

_The rest were clueless. _

_Most of them thought that I had been assigned to her because of SD-6._

_But these were the ones that were actually told that she was there._

_For a few junior agents, they didn't even know she was even a prisoner._

_It was working out so well, until she helped shut down Echelon down to Sloane._

_Until she was brought into the operations centre._

Irina is lead through the operations centre. Her hands shackled. Marshals dotted all around her.

The rest of their agents stop, stare her. All of them knowing what she is capable of. What she has done. But still the fear came out. Regardless of her being a prisoner of theirs they are still scared.

She walks towards the computer where Jack, Sydney and Kendall are waiting.

She puts her hands out and waits to have the handcuffs removed. With that she sits down and speaks.

"I'll need to send an access code."

"How will we know you're not signalling your operation?" Kendall asks

"You won't." She replies.

Kendall looks at Jack before uttering two simple words

"Do it"

So she does.

_You see, everyone was debriefed about her. _

_Devlin decided that they should be prepared. So they got the full story_

_My life history, my connection to her._

_So the truth was out there._

_Everyone started to look. Their was talking behind my back, laughter as well._

_I'm not sure if it was aimed at me or her._

_But know they know about her and me._

_I have changed in their eyes. _

_All that they knew about me has change according to them._

_All that I have done._

_Has changed._

_It's like a personality change has just happened. _

_One that only they see._

_The thing is they are wrong._

_I'll still be Sydney Anne Bristow, no matter who my mother was._

_My personality is nothing to do with her._

_It's to do with my experiences, the ones I had when she was their and the ones after she was gone._

_It's like they think that terrorism is a genetic trait that is inherited._

_A load of problems causes by her just being my mother._

_But even what that happen._

_I still think that I kind of loved her._

_R:N: Another update! This is quick for me. They idea came and it just flowed from there. _

_Anyway. Please read and review._

_Ta. Smasher_


	13. Chapter 13 Bringing Down

**Chapter 13 – Bringing Down**

_Bringing down SD-6._

_A moment I never though would happen._

_I stepped into this originally expecting to be all finished in 3 months., and I would leave the intelligence world. _

_Instead it took a year and a half._

_And my whole life completely changed._

_I got my mother back but lost Emily. Twice at that, but the second time didn't come to later and that time it is permanent._

_I brought Will into this world, telling him my secret and then protecting him so SD-6 wouldn't do to him what they did to Danny._

_I found out that I was programmed with the skills of a spy . So much for the theory of that I was a natural spy._

_And actually much to my amazement, me and my father for a short time got along._

_So when SD-6 all of a sudden came down._

_I could final do what I wanted to do._

_Leave and have a normal life._

_Before it was a simple decision. _

_I would leave._

_But not now. Not since my mother came back into my life._

_She has affected my in many ways._

_And also this simple decision as well._

_Leave and I could be free of this crazy way but not see my mother or stay so I can see her but still be trapped into this mad world where I'm the prophecy woman._

Sydney talks the long walk down to the cell which holds Irina. A smile clearly showing how she felt, but this was not complete. One problem still troubled Sydney

"Congratulations. Your father told me about your success. What about your associates at SD-6? You had friends there, yes?" Irina said obviously proud of her daughters accomplishments.

"I haven't seen them yet. I mean, they're still being debriefed. I'm sorry that I haven't been to see you in a while." Sydney said to her Mother a apologetic tone in her voice for not coming to see her.

"Well, I understand. I'm sure this has been overwhelming for you." I

"I graduate today." Sydney said. But this is not what she wanted to say it just came out

" I know. I would think you'd be more relieved with SD-6 and the Alliance gone." This was another that she was proud of for Sydney. The fact that as well as bringing down SD-6 she also had a graduate degree. Her daughter was now DR Sydney Bristow.

"I'm thinking about leaving the CIA. Which would mean giving up my clearance to see you." She said finally getting it out

" You're too forgiving, Sydney. Don't pretend I'm something I'm not. I've never been a real mother to you and... you don't owe me a second chance. If you make this decision about me, you're a fool. In fact, if you decide to stay I won't agree to see you anymore. Take care of yourself." With those words Sydney turned and left. It was a hard thing for Irina to do but all she real wanted was for her daughter to have a normal life.

_I never thought that I would take my mother into any of my considerations. _

_That MY own future would end up being dictated by the situation with my mother. The mother I swore I would have nothing to do with._

_But at that time. _

_The woman I could have a conversation with._

_The woman who somehow managed to arrange going to my grad school graduation._

_That's If I had gone. But Sloane put par to that._

_My mother was right to tell me to go._

_I know that all she wanted me to be was safe._

_But maybe also to save me from the pain of a betrayal again._

_I know I made a mistake then,_

_It's not being the first time and it won't be the last._

_But I should have got out when I had the chance._


	14. Chapter 14 Escape

**Chapter 14 – Escape**

_She escaped._

_It wasn't the fact that she escaped that hurt me._

_It was the fact she had left me again._

_I know it was a childish thing to think that way, that she had only done this to me alone._

_There's a more serious side to it all._

_It's not like she decided to disappear into the ether again._

_She put herself back into the forefront._

_Aligned herself to the one person I hated the most._

_Arvin Sloane._

_She made me life hard again._

_Making me always look over my shoulder. _

_To deal with my fellow agents. _

_The ones just getting over finding about her and me. _

_They had another source of ammunition._

_I was the traitors daughter, the escaped terrorists child._

_I knew some of them were suspecting me. _

_That I help her plan it. That I arranged the extraction._

_That I was still a double agent._

_That I worked for the C.I.A and my mother._

_Vaughn and Dixon tried so hard to help me through it, _

_But they have no idea how to cope with it._

_My father didn't get it._

_I was truly all alone in it._

_There was one thing I couldn't work out._

_How come I didn't see any signs._

Sydney stands and stares at her mother working intently over the Rambaldi manuscript. Her mother obsession with it clearly in her eyes.

With out warning she turns her head and steps up to the glass. A faint smile on her face. Reserved only for her daughter.

"Dad says you're going to Panama." Sydney says

Irina doesn't say anything to her. Only nods to confirm it.

"Do you think there's a chance you'll get Sloane?" Sydney asks

" I wanted to see you because... it's going to be dangerous, setting this trap. I hope it goes well but there's no guarantee. So whatever happens, there's something I need you to know. Sydney, I love you." Irina said, avoiding Sydney's original question but getting out what she needed to appease herself.

" Mom"

" You don't have to say anything. I'm pretty sure I haven't earned very much, and that's okay. This was just something I needed to say." She says as well. The emotion in her voice.

"Mom, you're coming back." She said, never doubting that her mother wouldn't return.

"I hope so." She whispered slightly

Irina reaches up and places her hand on the glass. Sydney seeing Irina's intention follows suit as well. This was the closet they could come to touching. A beaming smile on both of their faces. But the moment was over soon enough. Irina drops her hand and walks away.

_The escape left me with many questions._

_How did she get away?_

_How did my father not release what she was going to do?_

_How did she contact Sloane_

_How did she remove her tracker?_

_Did she plan this all along?_

_Turn up, help the C.I.A but also help Sloane bring down SD-6._

_But the relationship we had just started to build had started to crumble._

_  
Maybe beyond repair._

_But I'll still have to face her._

_I'm the one who would be sent to try and recapture her._

_I'd be the one in the position where I might have to shoot her._

_She may be the enemy again._

_But there is an emotional contingent which will always affect what I do._

_But where does true loyalty lie?_

_Is it with my mother who brought me into the world or the C.I.A?_


	15. Chapter 15 Touch

**Chapter 15 Touch**

_I did eventually find out how my mother managed to escape from our custody._

_If it wasn't for Marshall's off topic comments I probably wouldn't of figured it out._

_What actually did happen in Panama._

_The thing is I don't think my father even knows that I actually know the truth._

_You see, he forgot one detail about me._

_The ability I have to read the subtext in a conversation._

_Something which I am absolutely certain came from the project Christmas training I received._

_But at that moment in time._

_That ability was a curse._

_Because they are some details about my parents I don't want to know._

"As many of you know, our attempt to capture Arvin Sloane failed. We believe that Irina Derevko, while in our custody, somehow made contact with Sloane, informed him of our intention to apprehend him, and used it as an opportunity to escape. Due to Jack Bristow's intimate knowledge of the fugitive in question and his longstanding written record of accurate predictions regarding Derevko, Langley has given him operational control of this task force."

Kendall sits down. A look of displeasure on his face. Not at all happy that he had been demoted because of one incident.

"In all likelihood, Sloane and Derevko have formed a strategic partnership. As of this morning, our single aim will be their apprehension. Derevko has been tagged with a passive tracking device—" Jack said standing up, trying to keep him face passive, not in anyway revealing what happened.

" Um, excuse me, sir, sorry to interrupt. Um, by the way, congratulations on the heading the operation task force... thing. The device that we implanted into Derevko isn't passive." Marshall said in his usually stumbling manner.

"Yes, it is. I removed the original device in case Derevko was swept for bugs. Without her knowledge, I injected her with a passive transmitter." Jack said.

"Wow. Actually that's really smart because, well, basically if they do a bug sweep they won't pick up anything until it transmits. Hey, how'd you plant it without her knowing?" Marshall said unaware of what his question actually meant.

They're was a silence in the room. Nobody saying a word at all. But Sydney wanted to say something, to ask her father if what she was thinking was true.

"The transmitter is programmed to send a signal twelve hours from now. That allows her enough time to reach Sloane before going active. A tactical team's on standby out of Edwards air force base. Once we acquire the signal, we'll move in and take them into custody."

_I'm sure my father thinks he was non descript in his answers._

_That his normal facade with my mother would draw everyone away from the truth of how he placed the passive tracker on her._

_But I still came up with only one conclusion to how he did._

_A conclusion which was confirmed when I found out where it was placed._

_But this is not a topic I will ever discuss with them. _

_This is the type of thing that nobody wants to know about their own parents._

_This includes me as well_

_But I'm not going to be naïve about it._

_I'm not going to bury my head in the sand either._

_I know my parents have had sex before._

_That's obvious enough considering I am here. _

_I can cope with that, _

_I know what happened in Panama between them. _

_That's something I can't._

_Because that was nothing to do with love._

_It was just a way of using each for their own plans._

_My mother using my father to help her escape by getting him to remove the original tracker._

_My father to place the passive transmitter. Him being as ever trusting as usually._

_But they forgot the one person stuck in the middle._

_Me._

_And how this would end up affecting me._

_Well that's parents for you. _


	16. Chapter 16 Blast

**Chapter 16 – Blast**

_Germany._

_Home of beer and bratwurst. _

_The German football team and at one time the Berlin wall._

_But it is now also the place where I first had to go in the pursuit of my mother after her escape._

_The passive tracker which my father had planted had worked the way it was supposed to._

_Tracking her to Stuttgart, to the building she was infiltrating and to Sark as well._

_We thought we had struck the jackpot._

_That the whole plan was going perfect.._

_Until._

_The transmitter stopped transmitting. _

_How?_

_We don't know. _

_Did she find it somehow?_

_Removed it?_

_Shorted it?_

_Something we won't find out until someone could ask her._

_But at that time it wasn't that important._

_It was important that the plan was screwed._

_Without the tracker we were going in blind._

_By the time we got in, she could be gone._

_And if she managed to get away, she could end up anywhere in the world._

_Taking us back to Square one and leaving her and Sloane to do whatever they were planning to do._

_It didn't end up that way._

_It ended up with my mother doing something unexpected._

Sydney runs down one of the corridors of Brucker Biotech, Vaughn by her side as well.

"What about Derevko?" Vaughn asked Sydney. So far they had lost Sark and they weren't planning to lose him as well.

"She's got to be here." Sydney said in response.

"Sydney!" called out Irina to get her attention

They hear her voice and turn round to face her. Irina's eyes fixed on Sydney.

"Dad, I see her!" Sydney says through her comm.

Irina turns away and starts to run with Sydney and Vaughn in quick pursuit

"We're going after her! She's exiting the building!" Syndey says again through her comm..

With only 4 seconds left on the bomb, they exited the building. Both looking around to see if Irina was there.

When the bomb then exploded. Leaving them running for cover.

_She called out my name._

_Used herself as bait to get us out of their._

_To stop us going any deeper into the building but to get us outside where it was safe._

_But why did she do it?_

_Was it an act of love?  
_

_Guilt?_

_Remorse?_

_Or just one of the many unexplained things that my mother does._

_But no matter._

_She kept me safe._

_Me her daughter and also her enemy._

_It's not the first time and I don't think it would be the last._

_Is this the reason why all my missions involving my mother's organisation have not ending up with me with serious injuries or dead._

_Had she warned them to leave me alone? That they would be consequences if they did._

_My mother has said she wants to keep me safe, but maybe in a twisted sort of way that sometime in the future she would be the one to kill me._

_But for that moment in time._

_I was granted a reprieve._


	17. Chapter 17 Bullet

**Chapter 17 – Bullet**

_One Shot._

_It can change everything._

_That one shot could be the difference between life and death._

_Escaping or being captured._

_I had that one shot moment with my mother._

_There was many shot fired before that one._

_Perfectly placed and perfectly timed shots._

_Designed not to hurt or kill._

_That despite my protests to Vaughn that I wouldn't miss. _

_That I would shoot my mother._

_I couldn't._

_So when I turned that corner and saw her go up the ladder._

_That's when the moment occurred._

_Do I pull the trigger?_

_And if I do._

_Where do I put the shot?_

" Go! I have the disk, ready for extraction." Irina shouts through her comm to Sark

"Copy that." He replies

Irina runs down the secret passage linked to the kitchen, Sydney not so long after see it herself and runs down it.

"They're in some kind of tunnel, it starts at the east. Check from the outside to see where it leads." She tell Vaughn through her comm.

"Copy. I'm on my way"

They exchange gunfire for a while. Neither of them managing to hit.

Irina makes a break for it. And heads towards a ladder which she starts to climb. But Sydney comes up behind her with gun pointed.

"Freeze! Don't move!"

But Irina does not listen, she carries on climbing up. So Sydney shoots.

_I actually did it._

_I shot her._

_It was only her shoulder._

_The exact place she shot me._

_But did she feel like I felt._

_Numb, sickened._

_But that was just one issue with that day._

_There was one death that day._

_Emily's_

_A true innocent in this._

_And if I had really gone through with it._

_Their could have been easily two deaths that day._


	18. Chapter 18 Wiped

_Chapter 18 - Wiped_

_It was a few weeks before I had another meeting with my mother._

_And like all the meetings I have on the outside with my mother._

_It ended up in pain._

_This time the pain was for me._

_And as usual my mother's motives at that time were a complete mystery to me._

_Me, I had a reason to be there._

_A good reason._

_I was trying to clear Will's name. _

_To prove he wasn't doubled and he wasn't the mole._

_So I went to that server farm to get the Intel I knew would clear his name._

_It just didn't work out that way._

_I got their to find her standing in my way._

_Her holding my friends future in her hand._

Sydney runs into the main room of the facility. In it was amass of servers and on one of them it held the information she desperately needed. She reaches the guard, an unmoving guard. She turns him to face her and finds he throat sit. She takes a step back

"Hello, Sydney." Irina says a taser in her hand. A taser she jabs at Sydney sending a current of electricity through her which brings her to the ground

Irina does this a few more times. As Sydney cries out in pain on the floor.

"I know what you're after. Your friend's suspected of being a double. You believe the information on this server could clear him." Irina says holding up the kill switch will erase all the files on the server. She goes to the press the button.

"No, don't--!" Sydney cries

But it's to late. Irina does it. She erases the files of the server.

"You erased it..." Sydney says to her.

"I transferred a copy to a secure location. I'll give it to you. In exchange, I want you to do something." Irina says trying to get her daughter back to her side.

"Go to hell!" Sydney screams out at her

"If you don't, you'll never clear Will's name. He'll be tried as a traitor and executed. I'll be calling on you soon, Sydney." Irina says before running out, leaving Sydney on the floor broken.

_She shocked me._

_That's nothing compared to the mental pain she has caused me._

_I didn't really care about that then._

_All I cared about was Will._

_And all I wanted to know._

_Was how did she know?_

_If Will was the mole which according to Kendall he was._

_How could he passed this on to her?_

_He was still in custody when we found out about the server farm._

_Did my mother know who the other person doubled was?_

_Was she having everyone involving project helix survielled?_

_Or was the mole was still there?_

_And in a position where everything the C.I.A knew, they would know._

_I had only told one person after my mother's escape, about what was going on. That I was C.I.A and the mission to the server farm._

_It was Francie I told, my oldest friend._

_It couldn't have anything to do with her._

_Could it?  
_

_All I could figure was that my mother had something to play in this pretty game._

_I just need to figure out her next move._

_But what a move it was._

_It left me a bit stunned._


	19. Chapter 19 roof

**Chapter 19 – Roof**

_The final straw._

_The Last stand._

_Or was it._

_Considering the deeds my Mother has done. _

_The way she managed to get me to Mexico City is extremely strange._

_Telling me where Sloane's Rambaldi artefacts where, even if it ended up with herself being double crossed and my father captured was a good thing._

_Telling us where Sark was, which lead us to my father and Sloane was a good thing._

_But what she told me._

_I don't think that was such a good thing._

"Get OFF the ledge!" Sydney yelled at her mother.

"I'll tell you what you need to know. "

"Get off the ledge NOW!" Sydney said her voice getting agitated but there ws an hint of emotions in the back.

"Sloane believes he's been chosen to realize the word of Rambaldi. But you, too, have been chosen." Irina said trying to get her point

"If you think I'm bluffing..."

"It's you in the prophecy, Sydney, not me. Only you can stop him." Irina says with a smile on her face. "Good luck, sweetheart."

"Get down now!" Sydney yells again.

"I love you." Irina says to Sydney, truly meaning everything she says.

Irina falls backwards of the building. Something which Sydney was not expecting. A gasp escapes before she realises she was attached to a bungee cord. On Irina's way down she shoots the windows out. The cord tightens and she fires out a harpoon which embeds into the wall and she pulls her way in.

_So according to another person._

_I was the prophecy woman._

_I didn't take much heed of my mother's words._

_The main thought at that time was based around facing that I truly had to arrest my mother and place her back into custody._

_Something which even after they length of time I had to think about it.._

_I still wasn't sure what in my heart I wanted to do._

_But no matter my personal feelings my hands are tied. _

_I had to take her in. _

_If not my loyalties would be in question, and I know that some of the C.I.A have never trusted me. _

_Why should they with my SD-6 past and Irina Derevko as a relative._

_But she took my decision out of it. _

_She decided what was going to happen._

_Doing the best escape I have ever seen._

_So that was it._

_She was out of my life again._

_At the time I need her most._

_After waking up two years later, and my connection to Rambaldi caused some wild changes to my life._


End file.
